Great Communication: How to Speak the Same Language (Fix Your Relationship Book 4)

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9 Steps to Better Communication Today

Feeling like your partner is guarded with their feelings can be really frustrating. One of the biggest reasons that couples come to counselling is one or both partners feeling unloved. But often, the problem is as much to do with how affection is being expressed as anything else.

We all have different ways of showing Recently, my emotions have been more negative and I found myself telling my wife that I know longer love her the way I did when we first met. Deep down, though, I do Regularly checking how they're doing and being flexible about how you offer support can be really helpful.

Doing it the hard(er) way

When communication breaks down it can feel very frustrating. But good communication can be learnt, try our tips for getting your communication back on track.

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My husband and I have been together for 14 years and married for 9. We have two boys aged 6 and 3. A few years ago, my husband told me he was unhappy, but he wanted to work on things. Our counsellors give their advice on how to reach decisions that don't leave one of you feeling put out. Blame can be a really toxic thing in relationships.


In the desert. At night. Being open means talking about things you may have never talked about with another human being before in your life.

It means being vulnerable and honest with your partner, completely and unabashedly. It means opening yourself up to possible hurt and disappointment.

4 Major Relationship Communication Mistakes That Ruin Love | Psychology Today

But it also means opening yourself up to the full potential of all a relationship can be. Nonverbal communication is your body language, the tone of your voice, its inflection, eye contact, and how far away you are when you talk to someone else. Learning to communicate better means that you need to learn how to read these signals as well as hear what the other person is saying.

Sometimes discussions turn into arguments, that can then morph into a discussion about everything and the kitchen sink.

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To be respectful of one another and the relationship, you should try and keep the discussion or argument focused to the topic at hand. Arguments that do veer off tend to escalate and grow larger and larger.

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One party needs to make an effort at that point to try and de-escalate the argument, even if it means walking away from it, literally. He is a psychologist, author, researcher, and expert in mental health online, and has been writing about online behavior, mental health and psychology issues since Grohol has a Master's degree and doctorate in clinical psychology from Nova Southeastern University. This love language expresses itself by doing things that you know your spouse would like.

Cooking a meal, doing the laundry, and picking up a prescription are all acts of service. They require some thought, time, and effort. Actions out of obligation or with a negative tone are something else entirely.

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It just means that a meaningful or thoughtful gift makes your partner feel loved and appreciated. Something as simple as picking up a pint of their favorite ice cream after a long work week can make a huge impact.

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This is different than Acts of Service, where you show affection by performing actions to help your partner. This love language is all about undivided attention. No televisions, no smartphones, or any other distractions.